Tears are amazing. They can be incredibly therapeutic and useful for processing so many emotions on many ends of the spectrum: from sadness to joy, depression to hilarity. I’m so grateful for the ability to feel strong emotion and to express it in such a tangible way. Tears are an excellent release of feeling, sometimes multiple emotions at once (especially for teenage girls, as my sisters teased my thirteen-year-old overly emotional self: “why don’t you cry about it? Now laugh about it. Now cry about it. Now laugh about it.”).
I’m a movie crier. I cry in pretty much every movie I watch: Disney movies to action to period pieces to comedy. It doesn’t matter what kind of movie it is, I’ve probably cried in it. I suppose it’s because I’m overly sensitive and empathetic. Last December I stopped crying in movies. Processing my own pain, I cried a lot. I could barely squeeze out a tear in the saddest of movies (unless I was already crying about something else). I suppose I didn’t have the emotional energy to cry for the people in movies. Honestly, this scared me, I couldn’t verbalize it at the time, but I was scared that part of me (my empathetic side) had disappeared.
There are randomly things that remind me of how far I have come in my journey of healing, even in only 10 months. I am happy to report that my movie crying self has been restored. This probably sounds silly and trivial, but I cried during “Gravity.” Actually cry is an understatement. I sobbed, the kind of sobbing where you leave the theatre with swollen, ugly, puffy eyes and everyone looks at you funny wondering what movie you were watching. And I wasn’t crying for myself. I was crying for the characters. I was crying as I imagined her fear, her pain, her emotions. If you haven’t seen this movie, I highly recommend it. I’m a sucker for stories with a strong, female lead and character development (thanks Mom and Dad!). I thought it was very well done. And I cried. A lot. So it will always have a special place in my heart as the movie that reminded me that my empathetic, movie-crying self still exists. It’s the little things in life I suppose.