Follow up to “Trust and Future”

Today I had an advising appointment at FSU. I am happy to report that I have now had a successful advising appointment! It’s a wonderful feeling and the first time I left an advising appointment (at any school) feeling excited and energized about the plan I worked out. She was super helpful and actually listened to what I wanted to do and why I was getting a degree.

Which brings me to the conclusion and why trust is so important. First of all, I did fine on the Spanish exam which means I can keep my Spanish major. Second of all, having to research other majors led me to Latin American Studies (which fascinates me!). As I talked with this adviser she recommended International Affairs with a concentration in Latin America and said that it would be super easy to do a double major.

So now I get to major in 2 things that I enjoy and that compliment each other well. And I’m on track for both majors. Hopefully next time something doesn’t go quite how I planned it I will remember this. This new plan is so much better than what I could have come up with on my own. Makes the stress and the tears on Friday seem so silly! 🙂

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Living Intentionally and with Excellence

I know it’s a cliché, however, I’m starting to understand what people mean when they say “life’s too short to ___fill in the blank___” I think for me the phrase is “Life’s too short to live unintentionally.” I want to do my best to live each moment intentionally, thinking through what I’m doing and why, being aware of what I’m consuming (food, drink and media, etc). 

Growing up my parents emphasized “excellence.” We were to do everything in an excellent way: from sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor, to conversations with friends, doing our jobs, even playing (using our imaginations instead of being bored) etc.  This is one of the greatest lessons that my parents instilled in me (even if I tease Dad about the time he made me clean the kitchen floors again: “the point of mopping is not to just get the floor wet but to pick up anything that sweeping left behind.” Or that sometimes I tease mom by repeating “if you’re bored you’re not using your imagination!” Some things stay with you J).

Living intentionally and with excellence go hand in hand. If I’m intentional about what I eat, what I drink, what I read, what I watch, what I say, what I do, I think that excellence will automatically follow.

Part of the reason I started this blog is to be intentional about keeping track of what I’m learning during this season (I’ve tried journaling, it’s not for me).  Blogging about things requires me to a) really think things through b) describe it in a succinct way c) have accountability to live up to what I’m writing. It also gives me a way to share what I’m learning and the ability to go back and revisit these lessons. I want to be able to look back in the future and remember what I am currently learning or to see where I’ve grown even further in certain areas.

I don’t want my life to look like what the world says it should be: busy, full of things, full of money, seeking pleasure, constantly being plugged in. I want my life to be full of real, fulfilling relationships, intentional living, and excellence – aiming to be the best that I can be in every aspect of my life.

Trust and Future

Today was a hard day. A lot of it is because I’m exhausted after being a counselor at camp and then I had a busy week at work so I haven’t had a chance to recover. But today felt extra hard.

After camp was over my dad (1 of 3 amazing pastors at our camp) challenged all of the counselors and staff to think about the week and to pray about what our next step was in our relationship with the Lord. As I was praying about it two (scary!) words came to mind: Trust and Future. The more I prayed the more clearly I felt that my next step was to trust God with the unknown of my future. This is something I have never been good at; I like to be in control and in the know.

Trust doesn’t just magically happen. It wasn’t as if I received those two words and then all the sudden I had no stress or worries about my future. In fact right after our prayer time I had to go off by myself and cry for a while and tell God how hard it was for me to trust Him with that. So what did He do when I got back? He gave me an opportunity to trust Him with my future. What was my response? A lack of trust mixed with anger, frustration, and complaints.

I found out today that depending on the results of a test I might not be able to be a Spanish major or if I can continue in my major it will take a lot of extra work on my part to catch up on a full semester of grammar. I’m not a fan of grammar.

My reaction was less than gracious. Instead of simply trusting that things will work out, I immediately became angry at advisers, angry at the bureaucracy of large universities not willing to work with students, angry that this will be my third school, angry at myself for not CLEPing out of beginning Spanish so I could have started earlier, etc. And then I was grumpy and complained to several people about it.

After processing with my parents over dinner, I realized that it’s really not the end of the world. I will still be able to get a degree, it may just not be in Spanish. Maybe this happened because I don’t particularly like studying Spanish in the classroom setting and there is something more fun for me to study for the next 3 semesters. Maybe I just needed this to happen so that I would recognize how little I trust the Lord with my future. I’m sad that this was my response, but I’m so grateful to have people in my life who help me recognize it, and that I can learn from it. I’m also grateful that the Lord is slow to anger and abounding in love. He’s patient with me. And maybe next time there is a hiccup in my plan I will be more trusting and more relaxed about it.

Thank goodness life is a journey and an opportunity to learn.